Testimonial
This is the testimonial of Wong Yuan Hao.
I bear it to the Lord for witness.
When i was in primary school, i was exposed to all kinds of christianity in my school. The word "god" seems like a new vocab to me. The Teachings on chrisitianity is more on the way you live life. Therefore i was not exposed to the real character god is.
In Primary 3-4, i was switching in between christianity, free thinker, and buddhism. In P5, i Switched to Christianity and stayed there. However, my view on god is more of a "policeman" than a father. I seldom adress him as "o Lord", "father", but more of "God". I am more afraid of him than fearing him. There is a difference, being afraid means to be scared, that you respect that guy coz you are SCARED of him. But fearing is respect that guy coz you love and truly respect him. When i pray, i dont know how to pray, and when i sing, seldom do the words come from my heart. It more of came from the mind.
Behold secondary one
In sec 1, After i entered ACSI, all sorts of influences flooded me. Like Sexual talk, Vulgarities...etc. Therefore i got influenced. But i did not show much of the influence. I only showed it in sec 2. In sec 1, the main thing that the influence did is to change me from inside, for the worse, though. There is a period of time when i said a lot of F words. Around 200 a day. Then for some reason, i suddenly stopped. Sec one passed quite slowly, partly coz that is a bad year for me. I got bullied by the one sitting behind me, and all sorts of sacarstic comments. That contributed to my character in sec 2
Behold secondary two
Comes the Year of many changes. Sec 2 is the year which many teens are moulded, it is the time when they are moulded for secondary school.
Lets come back to the topic. In the beginning of Sec 2, i was more noisy than sec 1. I became more talkative, coz of the talkative people in my class. And i start to open up. At that time, i start to know my breaking friend called edmund. He was nice, but can be violent when intimidated.
Thats what i like.
Unless you are bullied in your life b4, you wont know why i did this. Because i was bullied in sec 1 by the one sitting behind me, i start to Disturb my friend. I enjoyed pissing him off, and i was nice at times. But very inconsistent. There are many times when i pissed him off. Therefore i found him Talking less to me. At that time, i dont know anything, coz no one told me so.
Around april, the influence start to take its toll. I became very very very very sexually sick. When i am bored, i will take my friends to the corner, and tell them "lets talk about sex" and we can talk for 50 mins, juz about that topic. We will laugh and laugh and laugh, and had a good time. I also became vulgar, though not as vulgar as sec 1, i start to use sexual body parts as vulgarities.
After the holidays, the first week, or rather the first 3 days, i was a good boy, not for any reason did i change for 3 days only, but regardless, i still reverted back after 3 days. Back to the same. Pissing others off, this got my frens hot-headed. and i liked it.
Then came August. A pastor called Neivelle Tan came. He came to talk about his life, how he was changed from a corrupt prisoner to a man of god. What i think god had arranged for me that day, is firstly, not to sit with any of my friends. I got lost from my friends in the crowd, so i just took any seat and sat down. That made me listen to what the pastor had to say. Secondly, I was awake. Usually in chapels, i will doze, but this one i was wide awake. At that time, little did i realize that it will be essential.
He talked about his life, About how god changed him. I listened passively at first. But there is one phrase that seems to me, that i have heard for so many times in my life. The phrase is "in the Lord, nothing is impossible". He repeated the sentence many times, and that is what that caught my attention. As the speech progressed, i realized that he was A LITTLE similar to me, just a little. But what made me listen on is his humourous speech. It kept me awake, though i was already awake. As the speech progressed, he talked on his personal experience with god, and others' experience with god. He talked about how god personally rescued him from suicide by distracting him with a hymn that he used to sing in his childhood days, and that thought made him brainstorm on what the hymn is, forgetting all about dying. He talked about how god answered his prayers, by letting him out of Maximum Security Cells weeks after he was locked inside, though he was deemed there for 7 years. That touched me a lot. He also said about how one prisoner experienced god in her cell, that she became so peaceful and christlike after that, she changed from spewing her human excrement onto guards and making them soaked in faeces, to a preacher. Neivelle told of how he was awoken in the morning on day in his cell, because that prisoner, Mimi Wong, Started the chapel service, by shouting out John 3.16, and getting the whole hall to shout, singing and getting the whole hall to sing. He talked about how the transformed prisoners are not scared of death. He said that there is one pair of brothers, before they are hanged, the younger said to the older "When you get up there, wait for me, i will be coming". That example made me tear, but managed to hold it back quite well. Then came another incident. Neivelle narrated that before Mimi Wong was hung, she was given one wish. Her wish is to give a white rose to her beloved daughter. But the police found, and none is to be found. Mimi prayed. And a white carnation sprouted in the cracks of the tarmac, in the middle of the prison courtyard. This one made me tear, and it well made me tear. I wiped it away quickly. No one knew that i teared. But i knew that i was.
After the Speech ended, we stood up and sang this song "when we hold on together" This is how it goes
When you hold on together Don’t lose your wayWith each passing dayYou’ve come so farDon’t throw it awayKeep believingDreams are for livingWonders are waiting to startLive your storyFaith, Hope and gloryHold to the truth in your heart ChorusWhen we hold on togetherWe know our dreams will never dieChrist see us through to foreverWhere clouds roll byFor you and I Souls in the windMust learn how to bendSeek out a starHold on to the endValley, mountainThere’s a fountainWashes our tears all awaySouls are dyingChristians are prayingPlease let us come to stay(Chorus)
This one made me tear again. I dont know why i am tearing, but i knew that it is some love and peace that made me tear. In my heart, i knew it is god. I wiped away the tears, so no one knew. And i thought a lot.
As i walked out of the auditorium after the service, a strange sense of peace and love overcame me. I felt love for everyone, felt that i should not irritate my friends no more, should not piss them off no more. Peace overcame me. Whatever hatred i had for anyone is forgiven and forgotten. I only could accomplish that because, the Lord had forgiven my sins, as he had forgiven Neivelle's sins.
When the day ended, before i slept, i reflected on the whole thing once through. I cried. Read bad. And uttered a prayer "...O lord i have sinned. Please forgive me, thank you lord for what you did to me today, i will always remember. O lord take whatever that is left of me and put it to use for your own good...."
The next day i went to school, and my friends saw the change. I felt a lot of peace. I am forever changed.
While my life pass, i reflect on the words "in the Lord, nothing is impossible". I learned a lot from church as well. For my mid year exams, i prayed for it. Taht i could bounce back from 1 A1 in the mid years. I did, i got 5 A1s. And everything i studied got right into my mind. Glory to the Lord.
For my overseas trip, i prayed for a sign of good price from the stall owner. The sign in that he smile casually. And it did. I halfed the price, the person smiled casually and said "that is a loss". Glory to the Lord.
For my church's revolution concert (an evangelistic concert), i prayed for a power move. It came, only in a span of 2 weeks. Glory to the Lord.
For Breakdancing, i prayed for more time that i could train. It did, 3 times a week with my crew. Glory to the Lord.
The Lord had shown me enough that he is real. As what Psalm 23 said,
"the Lord is my shepherd, i shall not want"
he is my shepherd. I shall walk in his ways for ever and ever, all the days of my life, and be a good and faithfull servant.
