WoW Bintan
It's a trip we go for charity purposes to help people in bintan by doing our part.
The first day we arrived there in the ferry while we met some sec 2 dudes from mansuri secondary also going to bintan for some of their school camp event. Anyway we will meet them later on day 4. Had some time with them, talking n listening music, taking peektchers n jus getting to noe more about each other. Later we went to orphanage where we all planned for what to do th next few days. Saw the performances from the orphans, sing, dance, music, laugh and life. Went to the supermarket to buy some supplies like noodles, tidbits that we will all spam at night. Went Agro resort for our stay, at night we had our first prayer meeting which most of the class turned up and we're quite surprised that that many did turn up. Had some dope bboying on the first day man.
The second day we proceeded with out paintings on tattered painted walls of the orphanage, re-painting, patching up, applying layers over layers, and painting an entire new room which is going to be the.. library! Meanwhile, some other of our friends went to play n talk with the kids. The awkward barrier is broken down so fast. We begin to talk to them freely. Worked tirelessly till sweat seeps the ground deep. After that we all went back to our hotels but before that i rmb that we did sth but i 4got. shiz. anw, we packed up because we are gonna leave for Loolah resort the next day.
The next day: we went loolah resort after visiting the orphans again. finished up whatever painting we can finish. actually painted a picture of the world on the walls of the library. Left for loolah later in an OVEN bus. man i swear its an OVEN BUS. sweated continuously till sweat rolled like streams from my forehead, shirt wet, and worst thing is im sitting in front (above the engine). heat is penetrating the floor and radiating to its 17 yr old victim. Good thing is, after we alighted, nature was our air con man! Kayaked there for 3 hours. changed from single to doubles to single kayak. Loved canoeing/kayaking so much i miss it alot.stayed over at Loolah resort and had our prayer meeting in the open. HOW COOL IS IT.
The 4th day we woke up for this really really long hike around the island then up the hill then down the hill, then went to a boat for what they call... BOOM NETTING. we jump from the boat into the sea (OMG), into a net which catches u (TG). Did this for also 3 hours until we arrived at this piece of this elevation we will label as "survivor island". We stayed over there for 1 nite. Having prayer meeting under strong winds. the global day of prayer is on that day, we prayed for singapore and indonesia, everything we could, political, social, economic, spiritual and its well-being. rested at night under the stars.
5th day, woke up with a disappointment that we aren't canoeing, which gave me a pretty bad mood for about 5 hours until i got sprayed by some water (i duno how this bad-mood-gets-over thing works). Looking back, it's really a small thing to get so pissed off over with. But despite the stupidity, i still love canoeing and would be much happier if i were to be given a chance to canoe. Anyway, we went back to Agro for our stay. re-visited the orphans for the last time, performed and gave each other some of our times and our talents. We left later. We left them. Returned Agro to break. I GOT MY DROP-CHAIRS WIF NO PAIN!! WOO!
6th day - nothing much to tok about, jus the whole day of shopping. Explored a shopping mall where i only bought a shirt but played 2 rounds of sega rally, 3 rounds of daytona (naan i won u 2-1. HA.), 1 round of airhockey and watched Mongan own the basketball machine. Went roadside market later, where i bought 5 dvds, and 1 pair 10 dollar boardshorts :D Thought there were to be shoes and racquet to buy but... NONE!!! PAPAYA!!! Went back to agro for a drench, returned the hotels for a movie marathon till 4 when no1 can take it no more (watched stomp the yard, 28 weeks later, click).
7th day - we left.
Alex, i never forgot the message you sent me. i don't remembered who sent me that mesage, but as i looked at my posts today again, i realized its you. you got me on the right track, you got me started on something i will never forget. never. The nights under the stars are awesome. Admiring Your creation, blanket of stars unreal. And for the first time, the sky was so clear i can see the arms of the milky way galaxy. Nights of prayer meetings, i miss them already. Fellowship, laughing, taitee (I'VE IMPROVED!) with schoolmates was the most uncomparable of all OEPs i've ever had. And God, you're the one in here this time.Days in the pool with roomates, hours on 2 seperate canoes or on the same canoe with my singing partner junen aka naan aka constantine talking about life, human and times. and co-ordinating the shirts with my crewmate :D:D (1st day- haven shirt, 2nd day - kyensai shirt 5th day - floorskillz shirt. 7th day - EL shirt) we even brought kyensai caps XDXD.Its so much fun, love, fellowship i miss so much.
The paint is dripping with my sweat, worked for 2 hours straight, my body tells me to stop, but when the thought of the kids came, my body fades, my spirit takes over.
Till the last day, i never overcame the language barrier.
The time came for us to leave. And it was never good leaving. I feel sad already leaving these kids. Then one kid i saw looked at me. He held our hands, placed it on his forehead. His forehead's crumpled. He hugged us tight. As tight as he could. The eyes cannot contain his tears. And my emotions, my love, my eyes were broken by how much he actually holds us in his eyes.
My tears fall with his. Then 3 more other kids, came to me and hugged me. I can't do much. Every part of me wanted to stay over with them. I can't accept the great possibility that i won't be able to go back there and get involved and help them again. I hate the possibility of that even happening.A file of orphans came to us. they all, i can see are really appreciative of what we've done. I can see their sad faces. What's the least i can do? I shook their hands, did their greeting, hugged them, and whispered a prayed for every one them that passed by. Inside of me, crying for the salvation of these souls. What chance do they have? what chance do they have?let it all out in the toilet. It was the perfect place for a retreat. Prayed for them right there and them in tears, sorry if i sound really sentimental, but i am now. Please, my dear God, save them one day, save them one day!
I was walking for the bus, then a feeling of guilt rushed over me. I am supposed to do something and shine for You. I tried to think its a small matter, but literally with an advancing step was an exponential increase of that guilt. unable to take it anymore, i only did what i can do for 5 seconds, turned back, held an english-speaking guy's hand, told him "i hope one day you will know this guy called Jesus. I really hope you do."
What little can i do? what chance do they have?As i looked back, honestly, there can be a few more minutes better spent. There is really more i could do for the kids, there is really more i could do for God. I have tried hard, but not my best. I was crying out for more time, trying the best i can to do something for them in the last half hour. praying for all of them, talking to one of them, teaching one of them bboying. God, i have failed you again.
I wanted a chance so much to go back. Every moment back there and then is so real. i see it, i feel it, i smell it. God, what can i do? let them some hope, give them some hope Lord, give them all hope.God, if not for you, this would have been a wasted 600 dollar trip. Lord you really made our WoW. And God i really really mean that the 600 dollar will go to a waste. God, give us another chance to do something for you.let your word go through, let your light expose all darkness. You claim the victory Lord.Labels: everlasting, heart, ilovemebutGodlovesmemore
WoW final
This is for everyone going for WoW.Some of you guys have left. but maybe for those who still have a chance to check this out. those very few.Alex Lua sent me this:"Bye:) this is my last message from singapore before i embark on to China:) i'll be keeping you in my prayers:) just Rmb to use this time that you can and the countless opportunities that God might present on this trip. Ask God for a person or people whom you can bless or lay hands on to pray for during your trip... Seek God that's still the main priority:) give Him your body to work wonders with:) God luvs u, Jesus luvs u, i luv you. Alex Lua:)"prolly now he doesn't know, but this message brought a whole lot of impact on to me. It reminds me of the greater love, the greater mercy, purpose, calling commission that we always miss, or find excuses to miss.Let us all remember what God save us for, not to sit around and do nothing, but to spread the word to all tongues and tribes.Let us remember.Labels: christian-bboy, friends n loved ones, ilovemebutGodlovesmemore
awake
i woke up around 10 mintues before 9am on sunday. and now it's 1040 (2245 hours), and i haven't slept yet. and of course i feel tired now man. Went for dance in school, treasured every minute of it, for what chance i have in dance i look at it as underserved, borrowed time.
danced, tok focus day, feeling cold without a jacket, its really a bad 2day spell for my health man. completing my math portfolio with a final induction question and a few sketches of graphs.
that means
IM SLIP IN A DAZE AND NOT WAKE UP!!!
PAPAYA.Labels: people sucking up just motivated the rat to consume the cat
the night
u noe how it feels, to sit through one whole night alone, staying up till the sun rise again, not having anyone to turn to, no one to talk to, but to keep yourself as busy as possible with a monotonous math portfolio u supposed to hand up when school starts?no cure of sleep, no cure of food, television, friend.Labels: christian-bboy, heart
just over
wonder what its like to have your life in His hands when you're standing in between 2 choices that you feel dear to both?
you go one way, u feel hurt of losing it. you go the other way, you feel hurt to see things go as time passes.so what to do? pray to God and ask for a sign, ask for direction. I asked for the direction and, it was just over 59 mins ago, by the time i post this, its about 70.
I feel quite.... emo. just about how things turned up. Thank God for the music from delirious that managed to keep me calm, if not, its just like waiting for the results of a major exam.I know what to do now. Cos of directions i asked from God. Pray for my strength.
It's just over. the results are just known. Whatever it is, I will walk the way the verdict tells, and not going to turn back again.unless God
tells me to.
Labels: friends n loved ones, heart
WoW
WoW is coming up.
Another trip, an experience, a chance to take photos, have fun, bond with friends, and buy cheap stuff from bintan XP.
Gna have CANOEING n outdoor games! and it will all befall, beginning in 5 days'!
But is that WoW all about? Windows on the World. A time we open our eyes, stand still, look out of the ACS, Singapore shell we enclose ourselves in, are people who live less than US$1.50 a day. And we're complaining that US$15 is nt enough. True, that cost of living is sky high, real income is not as high as we think of it to be, or as low as we think of it to be.
A chance to give them a hand, to help someone lay a brick, to give the chidren something to eat, help fund their education, help shape somone's lives. Help show the unconditional love of Christ. A time, even maybe for once, work nine to five.
The love, unconditional love of Christ. A chance given for all of us to do something to show that love. A door we cannot miss, something we pay for, our sweat and our blood - will it be in our labour?
Labour is not the most important. Love is. And love without doing anything, isnt really caring for those poorer people. Lets help them with all the love.
Lets pray everyday, before we step out of our hotel rooms. Lets keep the people we're helping in mind. Let's keep God in mind :D
Labels: ilovemebutGodlovesmemore
edge.
By tomorrow Lord, it's the verdict.
Standing on the edge.An edge that cuts nothing. Just a step forward, further track of inspiration.
demolish the fire and my mark I've left.
all of us have Alzheimer's. i only wanted a signal,
hold up a bottle to commit this to memory.
shred of dress i'm holding, it's a new day,vanished without a scent. standing on the edge,a prompt to fall, an initiative to turn my back and never visit again.march on, sun's rays penetrate me,
a step forward and nothing the opposite.
forever unless You tell me to.
Labels: christian-bboy, friends n loved ones, heart, Literary
the association
about a century ago, a man with a passion arrived. and with a longing, erected a beacon in the soil of this tropical island. He was so passionate, that he worked so hard for it, he fell sick and had to return back to where he came from and quit managing the building he built.
Being the manager of the building is hard. his eyes see lives while we all see books, his heart beats for rescue, our hearts can only feel, can only see, a holiday resort.
The sea's roaring, the waves are devouring. A thousand people bobbing in the sea. Without knowledge that it's the recipe of death.
I joined this association a few years ago. First thing i realized, is that people in this association, are rather happy people. They are generally happier than the other people who are not in this association. The office, or what they call "camp" or "headquarters" is really well-furbished. I've always known them for their rescue missions, their passion to rescue people from the treacherous waters.
Then came my decision to join to this association. And here is what i am today.
Something occured in this quarters that kinda puzzled me.
The people were kind, caring, compassionate. The greatest irony materialized. Quite a substatial amount of people, no, a few people in fact, were screaming in the tumbling winds, facing the storey-high waves, screaming to the people in the quarters for help, to pull one more guy out of the water. A thousand of them in the quarters, barely 10 responded. About two hundred wished them "all the best" from inside the quarters in their K-Marts, Armanis, 'fraid to drown their Drakkar Noirs, unwilling to leave the Apple plugged in one year.
At a corner of this association, a cast, a statue caught my eye. As gold as it is, as little dust it collected, as little attention it grabs.
Isn't that the man who started this association? More than a century of history. How has rescue quarters turned up to be a clubhouse, the ugly revelation, the disgusting truth. A round of secularism, dead is the purpose, the invasion of a global mission to produce professionals, while there is so little reaction towards this imposition.
this association - a clubhouse, a social forum, holiday resort. is anybody listening? can you hear their screams for people to help?
Labels: christian-bboy, heart, Literary
S.O.S
We always say that we shouldnt have been born. Complain that the moon's down, the tide's rising, the sun's burning, wrong color shirts, smelly armpits.
And extremely ironically, we are talking about the poor in other countries, about how we should give them a hand, help someone along the way, think less of ourselves and give more.
what hypocrites we are. talking about these things, acting like whitewashed tombs, the man in shining armor, the minister on the pulpit, the guy with the flaming torch.
And what does words, saying "how fortunate we are" actually amount to anything when we do absolutely nothing about it? nothing to help someone along the way? posing as ushers, telling people the way, but not truly knowing it.
Rehearsed lines in shows, fake celebrity efforts which purpose is inviting cameras, encouraging articles, rousing respect. The most common line from politician speaking "giving poor increased aid", comes a uber massive, immense, never-before-seen, history-making, once-in-the-world's-time, ever-so-rehearsed, for-the-experienced-ever-so-expected, oh-so-tangible three percent of monetary and social aid combined.
whoa. and what flashes on the headlines are "up to 33% increased aid to the poor". When its only 5% of the poor recieving 33% of the benefit. $8 more a month for a crippled old chap, $20 more a month for a widow struggling in her own 1-room, fighting every night to see the sun rise the next morning.
And we, the night is our play, computer, sex, thinking, talking, hours on the tv, giving our maids the stuff to do. And we complain that "we don't have enough time".
"I became a savior to some kids I'll never meet
Sent a check in the mail to buy them something to eat
What will you do to make a difference, to make a change?
What will you do to help someone along the way?
Just a touch, a smile as you turn the other cheek
Pray for your enemies, humble yourself, love's staring back at me
In the midst of the most painful faces
Angels show up in the strangest of places"
Looking for angels
Comatose
Skillet
what would we do to help someone along the way?
Labels: christian-bboy
thank God i have you with me.
Thank You God so much.
You listen, and You guide me, and You fix it.
A great God i have.
Labels: ilovemebutGodlovesmemore
Deteriorate
it came to me that i should just blog whether i feel good or not.
anyway, there is always something i wanted to say about my present school, which was also my secondary school. but just too lazy to write that.
everytime i think of it, it pricks my emotions. To see the same school i'm in- ACS, been worn to this extent is saddening. I was a sec 4, now a j1. Only little more stress. But ACS is now so much, too much of an institution.
It was fine in sec 4. I feel it when we win the title, or lose the title. especially the B div. We failed to achieve the title for 3 years. I felt the prick, and it's not pleasant. And now, even as B div or A div owns, i feel nothing. B div won the title. I only smiled and thought "praise the Lord, they got it back". But i feel little hapiness, or at least, happy for them.
How much did we really progress? Names, engravements, plagues, gold, platinium, all the milestones you can think of. Immense but gray, solid but dead. Where was the rainbow that ran through the corridors?
Have we became tired and worn out? Or have deadlines killed our spirits?
However, its a paradox. We have worked harder, churned out more stuff then ever, and pushed the lines of our threshold to the exponent. However, dead on these lines we lay, for tomorrow is another factory day, no one finds nothing to say, pick up your tools and destroy the spirit, for another title we build for in 2 years, but forgetting the glory of the once ACS.
Labels: heart, Literary
17th yr
the 17th year-please let it be a year of revelation. let it be a year when i won't regret at the end of it. 6210 days and 3 hours alive in this earth.
please don't let the rest go to waste.
Labels: christian-bboy
