3rd person perspective
Sometimes when I re-look on my past posts, I shy away from embarrassment and think "did I really type that?". It's the epiphany that "I've changed", the simplest 2 words to describe the maturity with or without age. That includes looking at my past mistakes and past pitfalls, though I made it a point to never dwell in the past, they serve as powerful reminders, lessons and steps to my future. I look back and sometimes say to myself "are you out of your mind you dumb shit?". Sometimes I can't stand my erratic behavior, criticizing myself and often ask myself am I really beyond control, to which, I disagree to date.
It's interesting to pull out to a third person point of view to look at oneself, when one can truly see his ignorance, pride, mistakes, crimes one never thought he made. As I clicked my "oldest" mail, I spotted some mail from which the source is: myself. The contents are enough to make any friends doubt my sanity (I mean closer ones who know I'm not insane).
But isn't it good sometimes, you pull out to see your mistakes and successes and learn from them, each spurring steps to further victories in life? As each mistake, each unsuccessful trial isn't a failure, but a step towards success, as you know that some things just don't work out. Like say, I saw that self-mail (which is meant to mail myself a document), and realized that my behavior can be a little too erratic at times, and so must learn to control. A bit more.
Labels: astounded
