cliched word: sorry
When I first realized that this word is a requirement (according to the masses) for forgiveness, I began to reflect on the importance and implications of the utterance of the word "sorry".
It's a word spoken out of humility and understanding, empathy towards someone else's feelings knowing that you have disappointed them. Whereby spoken, you willingly lower your pride, filled with regret hoping you could have done something to remedy the situation, hoping you could have done something to take back what you did. It's the reverser to your ignorance towards another's hopes, feelings, and the entire situation.
Like any other word which enquires about another's soul, like any other word which associates with faith, hope and love, this word, and all other words and phrases and clauses and sentences of this kind must be spoken with sincerity and truthfulness, unless you are armed with a motive to harm another person.
This word is another of the most cliched words ever used. The golden key for forgiveness, the push-button for an escape from punishment, with a dash of hypocrisy. An immediate effect to shut the other party up. During the course of army, we've all seen this word used many times. But the problem is, it seldom mean anything. Because first, the mistake is made again and again, so despite the unending number of "sorry"s, it doesn't convey real regret nor remorse in the offender's part. And second, it's spoken with more of cowardice than remorse.
For example, during a fall-in to check-clear our weapons, some of our platoonmates were late because they can't find bayonets, or because they sprained their ankle and stuff. So they were limping, or proceeding down the stairs. We were all pushing them shouting "platoon 3 hurry up!". Then this guy went to shout "you better hurry up or I will take my rifle and ......." (expletive). Not only he said that once, but he spoke in such threatening manner to them. I could stand it no longer, so I told him off, telling him "is this the way you talk to your platoonmates?". I bet everyone is feeling the same indignance towards his behavior, just that I happened to stand beside him, so it's most convenient to whack him. What happened next is behavior of utmost irresponsibility and cowardice. He lowered himself, with eyes spelling the human emotion of s.u.r.p.r.i.s.e, and a dash of fear in the face of cowardice, he said sorry to ME.
And also, other times when he was making lots of noise causing an irritation, and when he was reprimanded, he would say the same old sorry to the commander or the platoonmate, as he fails to realize who he really offended is the other platoonmates. Yes, lowering your head is one way to get around authorities. But do you see me lowering my eyes around commanders, giving that "sorry" when being told off, behaving in a totally different way around commanders, trying to earn their recognition by being very garang only in front of them? It takes a bit of effort in one's part to be honest with oneself and have integrity towards the people around him. An honest question deserves an honest answer. A directed interrogation requires a straight-up reply. Not the 'sorry', not the ticket to stop the interrogation.
This extremely abused word is directed almost always at the wrong person. In army especially, it's directed on the person who told you off, instead of the one who is offended, wrong, or hurt, harmed, made disadvantageous. If you lost your wallet, and your sergeant reprimands you for your carelessness, do you say sorry to HIM? You should be sorrry for yourself for losing your wallet! You should admit your carelessness to yourself and realize it's your mistake! All that sergeant is doing is to help you realize your mistake by reprimanding you. I believe it's the repsonsibility of oneself towards himself, all part of self-discipline.
I have no resentment with the use of this word. Because I known of cases of this word doing wonders. But in contradiction, this word when abused, do reveal the not-so-pretty characteristics of one. When questioned by a commander on why one committed an error, an expected word to fly out of the offender's lips is "sorry". No admittance for the reason of your neglect, an inadequate excuse, but the simple 5-letter-S-word. You should be sorry for yourself most the time for not taking care of your own stuff. Instead of living in the mercy, living in the shadows of a command, I believe one should take control of his own conscience.
And also, an unsaid rule, promises are meant to be kept, and words of such are meant to be acknowledged. What's the use of saying 1000 5-letter-S-words (SLSW) when not one truly mean anything? What's the use of mouthing the word again and again just to make the mistake one more time than the number of times you said it? Trust is to be earned (that's what we all know), but it's easier to lose it than earn a fraction of it back (that's what we assume we know). But if one really really means it, this cliched word is amongst the most powerful words ever.
Labels: national service, voice
