How MSTD turned out to be
This 44 day journey started on 191830, when the gangway was lifting with us, standing at attention. Some were feeling a sense of dread, some others trying to hold back their tears, some others broke out to tears. I was thinking what this 44 days could do to me? I had progressed to this stage of training and all that's to do is to continue this training and see what is there in the program. I had a vague idea of MSTD, since it's not something that one can exactly narrate to one another. As the gangway swung about, I was estimating the amount of missiles which could come my way, preparing for the worst, no shore leave, no embarkation block leave. No, nothing at all. I could be said to be lucky to have only one confinement for my watertight integrity stunt, but that was not meant to be a compuslory portion of MSTD. Here I am back at wingline, getting liberty in less than 24 hours, but I know that my luck and SA which played to my side was not the point at all. The day I looked ahead in dread, was also the same day when I knew, in all measures, that these thoughts were completely hypocritical. After all, useless smoking that I am invincible, it's all in hour heads.
As the days went by, we went by the day following through motions. Sleeping will include staring at the silvery surface of another guy's bed and thinking of the happenings of the day. Things changed rapidly without time giving sufficient warning. Not long later, the learning journey came by. It was, I believe, a sincere effort by instructors probably not carried out too well in terms of reception and perception of its end result. Undoubtedly there was bias towards the predicted result, and perhaps scaled the optimism and cooperation between instructors and trainees. Pretty long later, this system was terminated for the simple reason that it did not work out.
Weeks later, we had another discussion right after we left Da Nang. It was about the value of the sword and how much the one bar will really mean to me at the end of it. I think that it was the discussion that was the defining one for me. It offered me a chance for change. Or rater, it reminded me that there it was still time to put some value into this officership. What turned out to be different was a change in the way I treated the rest of the course.
Things started change slowly for me. I started to take more pride in the things I do, put in more effort, put in more of myself and a little more dedication into it. Do something that I will not regret, something that will leave a mark in history. I pressed my uniform everyday even if it is neat. Effort crept into my life when I strived to be best MOW of lion division. Though there is no assessment yet, it was the drive , aim and effort which makes the journey worthwhile.
Not long later, MSTD ended. In a blink of an eye 44 days flashed past. As the third bar was buttoned on my shoulders, I was proud and glad that I did finally make an effort and put some pride in my training. I felt a sense of achievement, not because I finally got my third bar, but the fact that I did straighten up, that through these weeks, I understood more of officership and leadership. Maybe this is one thing I should learn from my buddy. To exert effort, and take pride in work, even if it is not something I would particularly like.
As I reached port, I tried to find the reason on why do I feel so contented. There were no compliments, there were no excellent results, there were no commendations. As I would expect, it was my dedication to my training, and the value I put in it which I am so contented with. It that I learnt something that I knew: the value of the end result is dictated by the value I put on it. It was a lesson which I am continuously learning in life. Perhaps I learnt it too well here. There need to be no one putting me through hard times for me for the glint of the sword to be a little bit brighter. There need to have no one pushing me constantly for the sword to be polished a little bit more. So much was placed in my hands that is up to my discretion to make a difference. There need to be no one keeping me at push up position under the sun for half an hour, with burnt hands, with real tears and blood for me to understand the hardship and difficulty of officership."
