obviously
Cases in point.
1.
Q: How's he?
A: He's nice.
Good impressions
Come on, who wants to give you a bad impression upon meeting? Obviously I will like to present myself well to a person I will be meeting. What's more, if the person is of importance, I would need to present myself better all the more! When on earth does a meeting like this take place:
Christienssen: Joe, this is Jill, and Jill, please meet my best friend Joe.
Jill: Hey Joe, nice to meet you cockface.
Joe: Morning Jill, you ugly short piece of shit.
We don't always trust people at first meeting. Some of us do not trust people easily. But in fact, my hypothesis is, that we trust people to be the type of people that we are far more than we actually are aware of. What I mean by "type of people" means that we usually paint a first impression of the person through his social circle and environment, if we have no idea of his social circle, we will tend to liken his personality to our social circle. If I met Jack dressed up in bling, hoodie, at the alley, I would not trust him much, for I would associate him to some street gang. Thing is, whether I want to distance myself away from him before our first exchange will not matter much once that icebreaker handshake and smile exchanges, and is enough for him to build some rapport.
After all, no one wants to be known as a cheater, liar, murderer, thief at first meeting right? What the hell. So let's not speak the obvious. Good impression is the first big step to earn trust, and, sometimes, make a not nice person look nice. This is a sort of prerequisite to fulfill observation #6.
2.
"How's life?"
Cliche
Hello. What do you reply to this? "ok", "good". Thing is, how does the asker respond to that? Normally ask this question to break ice, but it's not so effective after all when both parties are wondering "what's next?"
3.
Gossip
One-sided arguement
Realize the thing about bad-mouthing, and gossip, that they are kinda one-sided? It's always the bad stuff about the person, the same person over and over again? Thing is, why isn't the gossiper talking about himself/herself? What I mean is that the gossiper makes the victim sound so bad that there is no way any one on earth is gonna be like her, especially the gossiper. What makes him so sure that the victim isn't gossiping about the gossiper? And the victim, now gossiper is speaking as if he/she is immune to every bad thing the gossiper is.
What do you hear in a gossip? You will hear that the person is self-centered, obnoxious, childish, stingy, stupid, unfaithful. You would never hear a good thing about the person. It should be prevalent that one should never buy into one-sided arguments. So why listen to gossip if you know that: 1. The gossiper is equally vulnerable to every 'sin' the victim is capable of. 2. Gossips are often one-sided arguments 3. The gossiper has a vendetta against the victim, which already makes the source very unreliable 4. The gossiper is always blaming the victim, but never himself/herself for the unfortunate events that happens.
4.
Q: You are Jill just go together right? Why do you like her?
A: Because she is smart, caring, kind, generous...
Reasoning from the wrong place
Most of the time you don't like her BECAUSE she is smart, caring, kind or whatever. It's more like, you find reasons to like her after you like her, which means that the reasons you like her don't normally come from the reasons you say you like her. One could look at it this way: That reasoning doesnt always come from the head, but its the heart which commands the head to reason the way it wants it to. So most the time, it isn't exactly these reasons which make you 2 a couple. But to put it as simply and as truly, you just love the company of each other. Nothing new, though pretty obvious.
5. The attractive factor
"Looks don't matter, I'm looking for someone with a good character and personality"
It may not apply to people of older age, for they have became more mature and have evolved. But anyway, I may not be true. Heh. A friend of a friend said "Those guys who say that looks don't matter are bullshitting. If they are only going for character, they would have married old women." So why is it an obvious trend that many of our friends break up with pretty girls? And why is it a common observation that guys get together with ok looking or pretty girls?
You noticed that girl because she was kinda cute right? It's normal. It's first impression. It's a filtration system. The first thing you notice about a person is the looks. So that is when you decide whether to go for it or not. Simply put, it's the first filter. So how do you ascertain if the above quote is true for a person? 1. If he/she goes for one without good looks. 2. If he/she is blind. 3. They never met before. But is there a need to ascertain that anyway? As if it makes a difference. Just that, this statement may just be a charmer for those girls who listen and feel that this guy is really of come caliber and have a good charcter. Maybe.
So in conlcusion of this I would summarize that, it's impossible to tell one's character by just one meeting, and plus, there are too many girls. So a filtration system is needed. So sometimes the cute girl is 'my type' and we get along just fine.
6.
Q:"What brands do you like?"
A:"Zara, miumiu, Zegna.."
The Issue of Status
I came across this question in a friend's car. I found it a pretty dumb question as it is not aimed at taste, but at status. So I chose to act dumb and not answer properly. As I would expect, got my ass whoopped. Thing is, these guys, while they "know" about brands, they don't even know what are oxfords, buck-toed, tab, open collars (basic knowledge of office wear).
The question above, when asked in that fashion I was speaking about, is just asking for answers which name the most expensive brands one can LIST. So the more I list, the better my fashion sense, the better my status. What an invalid measure of status, and dress sense! Not bad, I wished the world worked like that for me, such that I just need to draw the outline of a nissan GTR to get my dream car! I would also just need to write "I have 1 million $ on a piece of paper" for myself to be a millionaire. COOL RIGHT?!
Labels: human behavior
