It has become an issue that me nowadays that people think to be a “good” person is to be a obedient person, making him a role model. It doesn’t sound like anything to argue about as you read the first line, but the problem that this issue brings about is blind following. We unquestionably follow our authorities, our institutions, without questioning why. I have seen friends who follow rules, memorize theories (for exams), without knowing why, because they want to be a “good” person, a “good” student. Often, a “good” person, a model citizen is one perceived to follow the system unquestioningly, totally obey the system, and never to challenge the authorities. This perception to me, is very flawed.
As it's my character to be honest, or brutally honest. Alright, in nice words, constructively helpful. So much that I must explicably state, albeit my dedication to Christ, that I feel that many "good" Christians seek to be very obedient, or at least, viewed as very obedient people. It sounds extremely stupid right now, but I will talk more about later. And not just Christians, but also many others.
Well, obedience to follow the commands and rules given and set by another party. Total obedience is to follow every command given by another party. A model is something set as an example for someone to follow, or to not follow. For example a bad model is the example being set for others to not follow, and a good model is an example being set for others to follow.
Is a model person a person who upholds laws and standards? We see what the "model student" is, someone who greets the teachers, wears socks to a good length, trims his/her hair neatly, and tidies himself on the desk and the clothes, helpful to teachers. But have we seen any model student who helps the student body BUT does not follow the school rules? Then is this student is considered the "good" student in the school? The problem is, are obedience, good and role model synonymous? Yes, you may say no. I rejected when I'm typing this and slowly come to realize that even I occasionally live by the standards of the YES reply. But mainly this essay should cater to you, the follower of a system. ALL of us are in a system, a system is an entity, a combination of things, values, beliefs which form a unitary whole.
Is being a model someone who upholds the law, the code, the right way? Yes it seems to be, and he is the “good” person. But there is a flaw: who dictates the "right" way? For example, there was a pastor I respect greatly who came to my church who criticized guys using earrings. Once the words touched my ears my mind screamed in retaliation. I personally don't use earrings, but, what is it about earrings that label them to be bad? Take the source of influence to be from gangsters (and by the way that’s already a very weak postulate). Just because a small minority of people, viewed to be outcasts, like punks, wear earrings, then we label them to be symbols of immorality, symbols of sin? Why are earrings reserved for girls? What if the standard of society is to say that guys were the ones who wear earrings, by “default”? Does the code for conduct of being a model Christian, a good Christian in God's eyes come from societal standards? In one hand we say we shouldn't love the world, and that we shouldn't care of how others look at us. But on the other hand we bother again on how society views us. How far should we go by societal standards? Yes, we should care to an extent on how others portray us (if we don't we look like complete idiots), but how far? Should we let societal standards alter our perception of goodness? Should, therefore, a man wearing earrings be judged to be unspiritual? What if the person commits himself to charitable work, evangelism, counselling, and helping everyone around him? Besides questioning on this small statement made by the pastor, what I want to ask is do us Christians then continue to judge others because of their looks, because someone out there told us that something is unspiritual, causing us to become superficial, judgemental, hypocritical people?
Thus, it leads to a point of judging. Like it or not, every one of us judge, don't we? There is not one who doesn't. While we set the standard for what's good, what's the perfect model, have we not failed in ostracizing? Taking the instance of the earrings again, if the pastor said that about guys wearing earrings, won't it instigate a judgemental view on believers upon outsiders? Does that accidentally, unintentionally bring about a biased views for people with earrings? Is the pastor therefore, infallible, although he is a great man of God? Do we live blindly by the standards our authorities set? Have we not considered the potential (not definite) hypocrisy of judging others while we preach "thou shalt not judge"? As we made the perfect role model and total obedience synonymous, we must be aware of this massive flaw in the human being- himself. We, members of system, if taking advice, statements from our authorities blindly, will blindly be discriminators of people which are considered to be “outcasts”.
The third problem associated with being a good person is being obedient. What is a good person? Is a good person perfectly obedient? For example, one day IF (i said IF because it’s very unlikely) your pastor tells you to take without consent from the other person (in case you didn't realize I've shaped my words in an nice way) 50$ from a person's wallet, citing many, many reasons for doing so, and finally ending with "cos' i got a vision from God". Would you go ahead? after all, 50$ isn't like you're taking his life. Are good people people who follow authorities, or rather, unquestionably follow? One of the things you would ponder is your stance as a “good” Christian and your command the commandment to not steal. Often, our authorities change the way we think, change the way we view the system, so much that the core can be manipulated by the authorities, giving this case, Christ being manipulated by rules, regulations, societal standards. Remember, that authorities carry the name of someone who is being “endorsed” by the system. They are generally good and reliable sources, but there they are fallible nonetheless.
Another great example comes from "good" Christians' perception of teenage dating. Just because your pastor, your mentor, your cell leader says "do not date now, you should not get a girlfriend", do you blindly take it in? Do you straightaway say "he's right"? When a person you like a lot, and vice versa asks you to get steady, will you object to it with the sole reason being the reasoning form your authorities without knowing WHY? What are your ways to know he is reliable? Have you ever thought of WHY they said that (i don't think, and i hope thay don't say that blindly cos someone ELSE told them that)? Have you ever thought why and when is a person "too young" to date? I don't think they said that for no reason or for the fun of it.
There's a girl in my class who said that one shouldn't date now. When my pal and I debated with her, i found that the reasoning was weak, and to say, naive. Yes, the most common reason: "at this age, you must concentrate on your studies". Go eat shit (that doesn’t mean that you shouldn't not concentrate on your studies, just that blind reasoning is no reasoning). So you will never get to date or court in your life, when life is busier, more hectic, and more dangerous when you graduate from education to your older years. Her explanation is that you cannot cope girlfriend and studies. Is work less important than studies, less hectic, less responsibilities? If it isn't, why are many adults telling us schooling teenagers to "enjoy life when it is free, till you work you will miss your school days." Then she stated another reason "the time now at your age you should spend time with God to shape your life". This is so weak too, although it's very true by the statement itself, but used in this arguement, it strongly implies that one doesn’t need God when he grows older? These are many what i called "passed down" reasons I've heard. Stuff like: the relationship will lead you astray (EVEN if the partner is a Christian, obedient people tend to believe that EVERY relationship leads you astray), you will get yourself in trouble. Have you ever thought WHY being a relationship will lead you astray? WHAT trouble will you be in? I've known of many friends who handle their relationship excellently, juggling good grades, their CCAs, their interests very well. What a "model" person needs to know is to not blindly accept the authorities’ rules and reasons, but to understand the reasoning behind the reasoning, and show understanding and respect to it.
"See, teens do yearn to know the line to walk. If they slip over it I bring them back gently. When you lay a ground rule you must explain it to them. They have to know why and understand the reasoning behind it. Just to make a rule with not explanation, other than, "cause I said so" only cause division and distrust."
Mark Doble, When should kids be allowed to date http://www.helium.com/items/468664-think-anything-teens-should (9 march 2008)
Just as it's the authorities' responsibilities to educate people, set the rules, it's also the followers' responsibilities to understand and think about the behind it. Many a time i see people blindly following the advice, the rules authorities set for them, and giving exactly the same reasons without understanding why. It's not the same using another's mouth as your own. In my personal stance against relationships in teenage years, is that it's totally alright to date in youth, but not very advisable, it is because many people aren't may not be mature enough to understand the responsibilities, to understand the trust, sacrifice, selflessness, the time to let go, to move on in a relationship. For example, there's this guy in my church, about 14 years old, goes about dating already, but changes girlfriends in matter of weeks. He demonstrates the lack of understanding of the element of commitment, understanding and responsibility, which, in my opinion, shouldn't date because of the emotional hurt he causes on the other person, intentionally or unintentionally. My stance is neutral and requires self-assessing. One needs to hold himself accountable. The question is not about age, but it's about maturity, independence, responsibility and honesty towards oneself and his partner and to ones around him. No man is an island.
My post today is quite controversial I must honestly admit, but it's from my honest view to show the ever increasing “blindness”. And now my entire post backfires: am I not a "good" Christian because I disagree the views of my Christian authorities? Am I therefore, from today onwards, judged as a untrustable Christian because I expressed my views which happen to oppose my pastors'? Am I, from today onwards, going to be shunned by people because I wrote a 2000 word post which questions the whole problem of associating goodness, obedience and being a role model altogether? Am I judged forever to be a rebellious Christian, one to be shunned from, because I challenged followers' grasp of their very own standards?
What i'm here to do is, to inform people that they must know what they choose, what they are doing, what they believe, to understand the fundamentals, the reasons, not just blindly follow authorities, not just blindly conform to the notion of associating goodness with obedience, or a role model with obedience. This writing is not meant to prove my authorities wrong, or to disagree with them, but the aim is to inform readers about the problem with blind obedience, the flaw with which societal, institutional standards set which we may follow blindly and unquestioningly, whether you intend to do it or not. To realize that the nexus of the role model and abidance isnt' very strong, it is up to oneself to be honest about himself, honest about his authorities, and mature enough to understand the problem of subjective reasoning, and the his own flaws.
Labels: christian-bboy, voice
