one bar
Last night was a bomb. Forgot vodka absorbs slower than alcohol. So I got myself drunk -.- lucky no hangover. Everythings over on the day itself. IT SUCKS TO BE DRUNK OK. Compared to my first time getting drunk, this is far alot more liquor. It's alike water parading Baron's extra strong, and drinking glasses of kahlua and smirnoffs. Sounds quite little. Actually I think alcohol is accelerated through accelerated speech. Whatever... I am not spouting nonsense last night.
Normally one would feel a great sense of pride and achievement, or maybe looking forward to OCS. Not for me. I would prefer SISPEC.
But more significant than this air of uncertainty is the undercurrent of dread. Unsure of what's in store for me, unprepared for the saikang that's going to come my way in 9 months. I would consider tranferring over to SISPEC. But I shall see how the 3 week confinement period is. I would reflect on how much I will learn and mature out of this phase.
The same ocean of uncertainty and splash of dread awaited me before my enlistment, before being flushed with confidence and assuredness (that I will take BMT in my stride without a hitch) on the day of enlistment itself. It went well. BMT was easy. Smoke it and take it in stride. Now OCS. It's not the masculinity which forms an anti-drop-out shield which I'm concerned. But what occupies my mind is my ability to even want to put up with the physical and mental torture. I don't mind torture, sometimes I welcome it. In fact, I chose OCS over SISPEC not because of preferance, but for the mental and physical development it will put me through. It's very interesting. Seldom would I have a chance to torture myself again. Another toast for the new year. One so far for completing 2.4 well under 10, now another for my OCS adventure. Hopefully, another toast for being commissioned as one bar.
And also for a study to see why we change so much in leadership positions: the situational influences, the dispositional make-up of our character, the all-too-powerful influence of anonymity and power.
And all to you my friends, who already called me sir, you guys give the extra push to tell me that I should go on and finish the course instead.
Training begins in 27 hours time.
Labels: friends n loved ones, national service
