pride
It all started with the problem of pride. Pride of knowledge, assuming my so-called intelligence. I knew myself better, my limits, capabilities, weaknesses, and I pride to be distinguished from the hoi polloi with my so called intelligence.
Have you been in the state of blindness? The state of the blind leading the blind, both alter egos of yourself? You're more than familiar with your stupidity, your blindness, your failures, but you allowed your hollowhead to lead you deeper down into the path of ignorance. What a contradiction, ignorance dawns in the light of knowledge, as Henry Miller once said.
Yesterday pastor James Singh hit home with that short and precise message, concordantly striking conviction deep within, to my chagrin. God removed my pride immediately once i called out.
Well i believe this all started long ago from that once diffident character of mine, self-conscious and timid. An attempt from myself to hyperboost self esteem quite absent at that time, which is, about 4-5 years ago. Ergo pride is a process, arguably a symptom sparked from the cycle from the past.
With it removed, I realize i can finally concentrate on my work. A while ago i can't even get myself on the table, i can't motivate myself to anything. But thank God for this, for now i can.
Labels: christian-bboy, ilovemebutGodlovesmemore
