what's with the coldness?
A walk down the corridor is enough for your senses to tell who's pretending to not see you. It's not for any particular reason that you're unwelcome, but it's the fear of being warm, being nice, or even taking the risk to say hi.
Last time I used to be like that, when I was still the more uptight, conserved person, till I thought that the behavior is very stupid. Whyfore pretend yourself not to know that person when you actually do? So I made a point to be nicer, to smile more, to loosen up more, to be more sincere, more warm to people around me. It's not the easiest to accomplish, as an inner voice will bug "why do it when no one is doing it?" But well I insisted on going on, remembering others' birthdays, smiling at them and looking at them in the eye as much as possible. Things did turn out for the better, things did change.
But really, on hindsight, what's with this coldness? What's with this uptightness and unwillingness to be welcome? Why so serious? (lol) Is it a Singaporean trait? I have an American friend who gave me very different accounts of life in America, where it's less staring and avoiding, a overall more relaxed and welcome atmosphere (and mind you he's an Asian immigrant). You walk up to someone here and greet "good morning", more likely than not, he will stare at you for 3 seconds, thinking "
WTF DO I NOE HIM?!" before giving a half-warmed, half-awkward smile. Well, it's true that some people are quiet and more cooped up, and that's their nature and its nothing wrong. But what I mean is the coldness, not the quietness, the uptightness, not the conservativeness. Warmth doesnt just originate from the more friendly and talkative person.
I believe it all starts with yourself. I realized the uptightness everywhere and decided to put out a conscious effort to stop myself from being uptight and make myself more welcome, less intimidating, look less intimidated and stuff. Not the easiest things, cos' I sometimes need to inform myself, but it really brings out results.
Labels: findings, school
