2008
i havent much time nor desire to write about what happened so far this year, but the resolutions ive set to achieve had failed. quite miserably actually. but thats short of the point.
aside resolutions, aims, plans, and goals are things life throw at you along your way. it's hard to fix aims and goals to set the direction for the year ahead. though important, there are the thousands and millions and billions of laughs, sai kang, joy, fits, rage, feelings of dejection bla bla bla one encounters as to set out to achieve these goals. as for such, one must not be totally fixated on pursueing his or her goals.
but that's not my reason for falling flat on the face. it's after all, a journey for you to decide, a journey where there's a balance of teaching and self-learning, responsibility and inner conflict.
as always, 2008 had been an eventful year for me, of course majorly cos of the exams. (a few days ago i dreamt of myself having to study chinese a2 all over again cos the exam papers didn't make it or something). it also witnessed the entrance of a few people into my life, i mean, T.I.P list. the voice that goes "grow up" speaks softly now, but the urge to mature swells exponentially. i somehow always see myself as a student.
before this year ends i will have to write a thanksgiving post, which is, literally, thanksgiving. and to acknowledge events and shit and hurdles and heartbreaks and disappointments and achievements by toasting to each and every single one of them. its funny but its my self-made custom to commemorate life's memorable, both the pleasant and the horrible moments, all the right and wrong decisions.
so how should i end this post? i feel flashbackish. or, as if i've neared an end. it's an end in many ways. end of my formal education, the long long break from studies which i will sadly lose contact with many of the friends i see around for years. its losing people in the TIP list, praying you'll see at least some of them again and hope they hadn't wasted themselves after 2 years. still a point of time while waiting for my results, uncertainty which contrasts the certainty of formal education.
and next time when we grow up, we'll sit in the car with our kids beside us and tell them "cherish your schooling days for it's the best times".it was really great times.
Labels: school
exams prom and everything
Finally i had a chance to blog although it cant be long cos im going off soon.
So much happened the past few months. too many to say, too verbose to be compacted, too detailed to be summarized, too precious to deserve a short 2-paragraph footnote.
Worked like damn hard the past few months. From 28 in midyrs to 34 raw in prelims, and hopefully, a very good score in the IB. Had loads of fun hanging around with friends, or rather, friend (thanks victoria haha). Hadn't much impression till the last few days before the exams cos everyday was just kinda like studying.
After exams was the funny part. I was like thinking where the hell to hang out. Ended up playing 2.5 hours of tennis then doing drinkning at night.
Nothing much to talk about la. Oh then there was prom. I didn't prepare much for it, just went to shop last minute wif Victoria's family (cos i cant enter robinsons -.-) for a shirt. I love the shirt :) it's a mild-striped shirt from Thomas Smith. The day itself was fun, if not for someone losing his wallet -.- :\ :( But well, its kinda settled already ba.
But what's left after all these aside from content and the knowledge that you're going to do well for the exams is tinged with regret and reminiscence. Regret that you didn't do enough. Regret that you took a step back. Regret that I did not go after. I do sometimes start to regret following my conscience, i do look back and think how could it have been. Why did i step back when everything is so damn obvious? I can't stop thinking about this and can't get it off my head. I would have to stare at my actions and question the fact of why must this be an amalgam of resolve and regret. I must have been a real dense and dumb guy. Or perhaps I'm not, or is it a test of time, or is it a reminder that i can't always trust my inner voice, or is it a prayer spoken, marred by my own flawed, overly precarious, jaded perceptions?
God knows.
Well, I've gtg for a lunch with friends now. AND IM LATE :(
Labels: exams, mistakes, school
physics paper
BALLS.
DAM.
ONE CARELESS MISTAKE.
AND GETTING 25/30 IS NOTHING TO SETTLE FOR.
IM REALLY REALLY REALLY GNA OWN PAPER 3.
Labels: exams, school
Issues?
Well, for the last few weeks, I've not been posting.
Cos there's nothing much to talk about? Nothing too much to be passionate about. Trying to get my ass down to study. I did. Paddy Clarke. Oh it left in in school gym today. Oh YES I've improved my dumbell presses to a total weight of 120 pounds on both hands, or rather, 60 pounds 1 hand. OH yes, i aim to press one Nicole Richie (at her lowest weight of 70 pounds) per hand. That will mean I have to visit gyms with higher dumbell weights. And get the arm strength ready before then. Meanwhile, all is reps for dumbell presses.
Gosh I'm also eating more and more now. I realize that I'm now eating 800+ calories everyday for breakfast. Heavily influenced by Phelps.:
6 slices of bread (6*75), which comes with sugar and butter (+100 cal, a modest amt. already)
1 cup of plain water (0)
1 egg (50)
1 cup of milo (12o)
1 cup of HL fresh milk (150)
450+150+120+100=820 cal
I need to. My metabolic rate just jumped. I need to unnaturally stuff 2600cals a day even in rest mode. On active days it's going to be like 2800-3000 cals.
Chem. Oh test's in a few days. Balls. Nevermind. Damn. I'm going to study for it tomorrow REALLY. Hahaha.
PHYSICS PRAC. Screw. I wan score well. Damn.
Labels: exercise, school
some pics
Look at J.Han, must zoom in to see.
Official POP, and only shot with EDMUND and edmund, fish, and myself.
And finally,
DOPENESS!Labels: kyensai, pictures, school
lament for the dead
Literature and language, something so beautiful, can be marred by the simple measure of mere score and marks. Marred by single-minded pursuit, that getting more is better, and for this cause, the beauty of the art of language is officially murdered.
Using terms without even knowing them, the inability to appreciate the art of language, and even in the attempt to appreciate, one today marred the integrity of the artistic nature of the subject.
Literature should be respected as an entity, used in context, used with purpose, not just a raw passage used to cross-reference for the sake of mere marks. The wholeness of the text and the context and the author must always be respected.
What had literature became nowadays? Nothing but the memorizing of points. The more the better. Even the "value-added" part is nothing more than just a further flexing of memorizing power. It's so hypocritical if one claims himself to take up language arts, but doesn't appreciate the art of language.
Labels: lament, language, school, voice
what's with the coldness?
A walk down the corridor is enough for your senses to tell who's pretending to not see you. It's not for any particular reason that you're unwelcome, but it's the fear of being warm, being nice, or even taking the risk to say hi.
Last time I used to be like that, when I was still the more uptight, conserved person, till I thought that the behavior is very stupid. Whyfore pretend yourself not to know that person when you actually do? So I made a point to be nicer, to smile more, to loosen up more, to be more sincere, more warm to people around me. It's not the easiest to accomplish, as an inner voice will bug "why do it when no one is doing it?" But well I insisted on going on, remembering others' birthdays, smiling at them and looking at them in the eye as much as possible. Things did turn out for the better, things did change.
But really, on hindsight, what's with this coldness? What's with this uptightness and unwillingness to be welcome? Why so serious? (lol) Is it a Singaporean trait? I have an American friend who gave me very different accounts of life in America, where it's less staring and avoiding, a overall more relaxed and welcome atmosphere (and mind you he's an Asian immigrant). You walk up to someone here and greet "good morning", more likely than not, he will stare at you for 3 seconds, thinking "
WTF DO I NOE HIM?!" before giving a half-warmed, half-awkward smile. Well, it's true that some people are quiet and more cooped up, and that's their nature and its nothing wrong. But what I mean is the coldness, not the quietness, the uptightness, not the conservativeness. Warmth doesnt just originate from the more friendly and talkative person.
I believe it all starts with yourself. I realized the uptightness everywhere and decided to put out a conscious effort to stop myself from being uptight and make myself more welcome, less intimidating, look less intimidated and stuff. Not the easiest things, cos' I sometimes need to inform myself, but it really brings out results.
Labels: findings, school
Things in my head right now right then
It's extremely hard for me to keep the 1900 calorie diet. I overshot to 2100 today.
I had just finished editing my econs IAs, what thought will take me an hour actually took three. Well, it's all worth the effort.
What's going on the next few weeks is: testimonial self-write, world lit, ioc preparation, STUDY (NOW).
I am extremely pressed for time. I have to resort to extreme measures to FORCE myself to study more now. Rather do an extra 2 hours per day now than suffer in the dreadlocks of last-minute work, as if this is not last minute enough, I cannot rest on the laurels of "4 more months". M'balls man, as if this is enough time.
Dance! coming up too! this is something i really want to press 100% for. And there's like props undone? And I'll be glad to help, for this' the only thing, besides the sharpness of the moves, that I can contribute to the club.
I must come up with a detailed plan (detailed planning is not something I ever followed strictly before but now i haven't choice.) to split time between work, reading and dancing. This constitutes waking up 2 hours earlier and compromising myself to tight situations where i can't do anything but study.
NEVER be like me, year 5s.
Labels: dance, exams, exercise, school
study traveller
I've been resorting to traveling, or placing myself in unfamiliar territories as a self-imposed measure to make sure I study. It's damn effective, but with the great cost of
boredom and feeling like an gong -.- Nonetheless, if one's kind to ignore these side-effects of 'nomadism', I actually find some things quite interesting, took a few photos along the way.
Recently, I've found a method to curb my nomadic measures. Study with the window open. yes i know it sounds damn stupid, but it's an effective way :) but only when mum's not using the com (cos her room has the most ventilation). That means, it leaves me with not a large window of time to study in these controlled conditions. Whatever it is, thank God I love exploration and sight-seeing, though the best of the concrete jungle isn't very picturesque.
Date: 13 Jun 2008. It was after some event, I forgot which, and I decided to go queensway, the whole idea came to a mess when I decided to go town RIGHT after queensway :| And I was waiting for 14, and I saw this middle aged short dude (shorter than me, HA.) in front of me with TUMOR calves. It just attracted my attention, cos his ankle looks small, and his achilles's tendon is also of decent size, but again, his ankle bones are small.
Date taken: 21 Jun 2008. After studying with Clarissa, I went national library to read and borrow books till they close. After which, I decide to take a huge detour home by bus 61, using the time to study. However, the bus, the lights, and the population were too forgiving on the wrong days :( So I stopped at Vivo and decided to go to the rooftop not only for the scenery, it's also cos i want to visit a friend of mine. But well, his business hours are over and so I decide to settle down to study.
The rooftop is FULL of couples, kissing, hugging, I love you, you loves me, theeloves. I expected it but it makes me feel like the
abnormal person. I am, indeed the anomaly.
Date taken: 28 Jun 2008, Bedok. Yes call me eccentric, I took 14 from queenstown all the way to tanah merah, a 90 minute bus ride. Lots of time to study, steep sloping chair, and a extremely slow sunset, kindling the acceptable quiet, comfortable feel in the bus with enough privacy. Anyway, I missed the last stop and had to get off IN the interchange with the bus parked. After walking around finding a place to fill, I found these 2 stalls. Both stalls are recommended by food channels, newspapers, but somehow everyone's purchasing from the stall.
THE BANDWAGON EFFECT was the first thing that clicked in my head. But on the other hand, the chicken rice is REALLY good. It's called great east chicken if i'm not wrong.
Date taken: hours after the previous photo. This one is very notable. A car stopping 5 meters ahead of everyone at the traffic junction.
ANTI-BANDWAGON BEHAVIOR. It's as if he's the safety car, or race leader... I don't know I was just figuring out names for the honda as I pass.
Tomorrow is chem and math. Balls I think i'm kinda screwed for math. And I dono how I'm feeling about chem. Well. YUAN HAO ITS LATE. still blogging at 0090 hours!
Labels: exams, school
cca fair
well this is acsi's CCA fair. and TODAY was it. i was so surprised for i had known NOTHING about it ever! no info is disseminated (mayb i din receive it). But thank God we have an exercise book, laptop and 2 tables to save the day. yes. it's the booth with the LEAST items.
3. including a makeshift sign i made by writing "dance" in bold letters and displaying it on the table.
amazingly, without any prior preparation, props, nor demonstrations, we managed to get
57 people to sign up! yes, there are more gurls this year, but yes, a number of guys signed up too! we were all kinda
surprised and unquestionably satisfied.
Thanks Jesmond for manning the booth before anyone of us came down. Thanks Wei Tsin, Lucy for being there cos' you guys have nothing to do with the orientation but still chose to go :) Oh thank you Fish for dropping by too (and using your attractiveness, posing attractively attracting year 5s to dance's attractiveness. -.-). Thank you all who came down to the booth, Jaime, Michelle, Ama, Edmund, 2 sec 4s, Anderson, Nico, and some more of you guys. Thanks for helping out and advertising and stuff.
Praise the Lord! We've got hold of 57 students... for now.
Labels: school
Look at J.Han, must zoom in to see.
Official POP, and only shot with EDMUND and edmund, fish, and myself.
DOPENESS!
Date: 13 Jun 2008. It was after some event, I forgot which, and I decided to go queensway, the whole idea came to a mess when I decided to go town RIGHT after queensway :| And I was waiting for 14, and I saw this middle aged short dude (shorter than me, HA.) in front of me with TUMOR calves. It just attracted my attention, cos his ankle looks small, and his achilles's tendon is also of decent size, but again, his ankle bones are small.
Date taken: 21 Jun 2008. After studying with Clarissa, I went national library to read and borrow books till they close. After which, I decide to take a huge detour home by bus 61, using the time to study. However, the bus, the lights, and the population were too forgiving on the wrong days :( So I stopped at Vivo and decided to go to the rooftop not only for the scenery, it's also cos i want to visit a friend of mine. But well, his business hours are over and so I decide to settle down to study. The rooftop is FULL of couples, kissing, hugging, I love you, you loves me, theeloves. I expected it but it makes me feel like the abnormal person. I am, indeed the anomaly.
Date taken: 28 Jun 2008, Bedok. Yes call me eccentric, I took 14 from queenstown all the way to tanah merah, a 90 minute bus ride. Lots of time to study, steep sloping chair, and a extremely slow sunset, kindling the acceptable quiet, comfortable feel in the bus with enough privacy. Anyway, I missed the last stop and had to get off IN the interchange with the bus parked. After walking around finding a place to fill, I found these 2 stalls. Both stalls are recommended by food channels, newspapers, but somehow everyone's purchasing from the stall. THE BANDWAGON EFFECT was the first thing that clicked in my head. But on the other hand, the chicken rice is REALLY good. It's called great east chicken if i'm not wrong.
Date taken: hours after the previous photo. This one is very notable. A car stopping 5 meters ahead of everyone at the traffic junction. ANTI-BANDWAGON BEHAVIOR. It's as if he's the safety car, or race leader... I don't know I was just figuring out names for the honda as I pass.
