pride
It had been months since when I could type a full blog post properly. Everytime I would come to blogger.com, get stuck there, or log in, write a few words, and get stuck there. As I'm typing now I hope that this does not repeat itself once again, and I don't think it would. Because this pretty pertinent topic had been a extremely relevant for me for much of this year.
It goes without saying that my entry to OCS was met with little enthusiasm. As I had mentioned thousands of times, I was asking myself what on earth I was doing there at that time. I wanted no part in running up and down the hill, I wanted no part in rolling up and down in the mud. Not long later I was transfer to midshipman wing, which is the training wing for naval officers, much to my delight. Surely I never expected life to be fun or slack. In fact it is quite the opposite from slack and slothful, swarmed with tons assignments which we dwelled through the A.Ms to do. I was happy to be here as it taught me so much, but the sense of belonging was not here with me. Not many could say that anyway.
It comes hard to live this time without drive. Taking no pride in the work you do is especially torturous. Taking no pride in yourself is debilitating, living through the motions, lazing your liberty and book out time away sleeping at home, lacking drive to get out of bed, go to church, and engage in activities you want to do is ironically enervating.
This drive is something completely independent of its environment. Regardless whether you earn that prestigious sword, whether or not I am in this prestigious institution did not mean much to me. It does not factor the fact that I am going to earn a sword. The drive is something that comes out of myself, something I value, something I make treasure to myself, which is important. And it's in the word: pride.
The pride I mention will not be synonymous to arrogance, though it could cause arrogance to sprout under certain situation and contexts. Pride is the value one puts into something, resulting a certain drive to work hard to achieve something. It is the main driving force behind champions, behind high-flyers who truly believe that they can achieve, and are proud of their achievements, goals, and aims.
It is certainly a great part of me through this period. Dance mattered to me more a lot, and it is the thing which I find most pride and value in, it is something I am proud to have achieved, it is a place where I am proud to have ventured to, and which taught me too much in the span of a few years which flew by. What an excellent prediction it was to feel that bboying would be the thing which will tax me the most mentally and emotionally we approach the end of school. Deciding on which would be the most emotionally taxing thing I had faced, for it is not something which you could just decide in the spur of the moment, it is not something which one could commit to easily, and it really requires a lot of your time and commitment. It is something which I will remember in many years to come, and it only would have been better if I would truly have expounded my potential and ventured a little further into the more unfamiliar.
Pride. The value which comes out of oneself, created for something valuable to him. I realized it had become so important ever since NS started. It gives life more meaning, other than living through the motions, passing day after day doing nothing and going through the motions again. Give yourself something to be proud of, something to chase and look back in time in satisfaction.
Labels: christian-bboy, heart
Annual Reviews
What is the use of changing names, setting aims, reviewing goals
ok i have to rest for sunrise tomorrow...
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