book in days
this is like a subscription. Posts come weekly. Every week, only one chance to chronicle, one chance to voice and to express. I mean publicly yea.
I realize that I LOVE book out days, unlike what I felt on friday: minuscule sense of liberation period. Enjoying myself quite alot. To realize I'm booking in in another 9 hours isn't a very comforting thought, not a welcoming thought, and much more not a liberating one. But heck it, my platoonmates and bunkmates are awesome that I'm going to spend time with them. After all it's been fine, quite exciting and not too hard in the army anyway.
The best part is the ability to live it like 2 years of study break or something. Friendship and bonding with discipline lessons and physical training on the weekdays, rest, liberation and fun in abandonment on the weekends. So it probably takes time for the mindset to adjust to view it as such, and from then on, though book-out days be loved, book-in days will still, at least, not erase the smile on the face :)
For now, time to check the bag and bring some books in camp. One of the bridges and companions that I can whip out at any point of time.
Labels: national service
there are roughly forty
During my train ride home from pasir ris yesterday, I sat down in half-realization that I'm back in civilization. Having not seen a double decker for 2 weeks, or a train for 2 weeks, it brings back memories of life in Singapore. Down there, all I could is to see planes flying by on top of us and disappearing to the sunrise.
And in the MRT was a half-daze, not fully realizing my liberation from the Tekong camp, and so I took out the notebook and started scribbling mind-stuff in my new font.
So for the resolutions of this year, I'm going to condense them to the important points.
-IPPT gold
-Curb that temper
-Be a more caring and loving friend
-Obtain a less messy and complex brain (much had been done)
-Insulation from mediocrity, stemmed with self-assurance.
-A more spiritual person who had better knowledge of God than 2008.
There is roughly forty seconds I have to cut for my 2.4 to get IPPT gold. The first time I had to train for endurance. Not saying that I'm very good, but I just dislike endurance training. The other, well, more developmental prospects of my vision (or, to-do, goals, aims, targets, accomplishments-to-be), are 40 leagues away.
Labels: resolutions
2 weeks confinement in BMT
Although the day before BMT was filled with uncertainty, blended with a few drops of anxiety, it turned out to be fine one the day of enlistment. I was so excited, for some reason.
It turned out well. 14 days in the army felt like 5 days, I hardly noticed the days past until it was like 4 days left. But still, i've adapted too well man. I felt little liberation in booking out. Thanks to my wonderful bunkmates and platoonmates.
Made known for the 'lats guy' thing, the tongue click, the EMSM, and the 100ml per second drinking speed, the 1500 calorie breakfasts, it made it all the more enjoyable. Our CSM was really nice and funny. A leader by example. Taught us to shoot well and he's no.23rd in the world, taught us to drill well with perfect form. What great section 1 people. Section 1 cheer EMSM. Also during free time playing polar bear. Usually I'll be polishing my boots, listening to their reasoning is a stand-up comedy free of charge. "I am not the killer, like.. why would I be?!". Was literally what one of the guys said when he had nothing to say.
Great to meet and be friends with many different people down here. It is a rare chance, but well-placed in life. I ain't say very excited about the activities. But because there is like PT everyday, I am quite pumped everyday. I love physical exercise, lectures are a time for physical rest, drill lessons are like nothing since I've learned most of it already. So basically I dread nothing in the army. Oh yes, the thing I dislike is AREA CLEANING ._. Freak. have to be so meticulous towards every small speck and placement. Must face certain direction, must be of certain thickness, must be parallel blablabla.
But after all these time it's great to get together with friends and talk and drink about it. More excitement onthe days ahead, this is all we make it out to be :)
Labels: events
X number of toasts for calendar 2008
One for the "no.12"One for joining danceOne for Chinese A2One for IBOne for the Vendetta sagaOne for the love of dance One for the bboyingOne for my friends and family who helped me throughLabels: resolutions, reviews
finalmoments
Yupp in less than 10 hours I'll be in camp, receiving my first instructions. It somehow feels as if I'm entering a jail. It's the freaking sian feeling. But I hope army will be far better than that.
Yupp and I'm sure it would. Another 2 years of education of a different sort. If this is something I can't control, why not make the best out of it? :)
Yes Man was funny, and it was good. Twilight was great. I hadn't read the book yet though lol. I can't wait to get out again like duh. But well, it will be a hell of an adventure in camp! I will look upon it as hell of a fun and seksay experience. Or I will try do it. From now is a spell of 22 months of training. Blessed to be born in Singapore. Life's good lol.
Till we meet again :)
Will we ever?
disappointment
It seems to happen always, that I'm such an invisible man to everybody.
If I regard someone of high importance I will go all out to repay them or help them for whatever much they did to me. And I will thank them, show real gratitude by giving time and money on them. All by brothers and sisters, all who really meant something to me.
And amidst this disappointment and result it came to show that there were really not many who would repay a friendship like I would. Not even mentioning about going all out. What I mean is even willfully taking out time to spend with me. Yes it sounds very proud. But what I'm asking for is not much, is a company, a listening ear, a willing friend in times of adversity. When it comes to now that amongst those I place my trust in few would repay, it disappoints me so damn bloody much.
They would say that they thank me for this and that. They would say that they repay me as a friend for this and that. But never is it shown in action. Fuck words and speech. It never meant anything. I had learnt to distrust what people merely say. The fact that they had said that I was a really great friend. It meant nothing if it's not shown. Well words never meant anything. If one's action goes against what he or she shows it, what's the point?
Sad and extremely disappointed I feel that those who are terribly important to me would not spare a second when it comes to times when I was troubled. Had I to be ditched by these before I learn who to really trust? Am I, after all, not a trustable person? Am I such a freakin menacing person?
And a 38 points bilingual cert staring at me straight in the face.
Labels: friends n loved ones
the writing
I could not believe how it went. God must have pulled me through so damn well. The interview went well, well, kinda I think, at least I got my message delivered.
The ability to finally be at peace, and to revere Him as the mighty one.
And this is what I should carry on to NS, to place his needs as the first priorities and at life more openly. This is truly a chapter I've went through. The new chapters can now be written :) And this is also one of the toughest tests on character I've went through.
YES as always it's said "it is finished". But also it's just the beginning.
Labels: christian-bboy, future, God
the new chapters
Friday, January 2, 2009.
Red skies. The usual apocalyptic lookalikes but nothing of that sort. Six days to army, and four to results.
Nostalgia contrasts the beginning of years and especially at these times, it's hard to play mindlessly before being sent to the dreadful-blessing of the how-to-hold-a-rifle programme. Rightfully called national service. A year and 10 months from now I shall see how much have changed in me and around me. Maybe it's the fear of loss within this 2 years. So uncertain. So confined. So happening. So much adventure. So much as I look forward to, I take a step back also.
The walk with God is especially important the next period of time. No more of hypocritical self-awakenings. But in a tough atmosphere, what doesnt kill you makes you stronger.
yh
Labels: christian-bboy
