killsometime
Ive been staring and stalling at the "new post" page for 2 hrs, wanting to say but avoiding it, longing to explode but curbing it, sliding down the walls of deep thought but wrangling myself out of it.
so, i ended up with this thought on everyone's heads now. how to kill time?
1. read the previous post
2. keep in contact with old friends
3. MUST KEEP IN CONTACT THROUGH NS. PLEASE.
4. Read
5. Purchase "That's how it goes"
6. br8
7. California fitness 2 wks free trial lol
ok so that probably fills up the list for the next weeks..
Labels: events, out
teachers day
They did a hell of a job man. Can't wait to show them the vids. They can't be tranfered in any other way other than DVDs.
The file sizes add up to 830mb. -.-
Uploading to Utube? I'll try if it can be compressed enough..
Hai. Was at the wake just now. A mix of emotions. Too much to say.
First was that i miss my grandpa. Just sad that he wasn't to be any more.
Second was that because of this wake, i had to miss the dance farewell party.
I miss em' horribly.
I've been looking forward to this farewell thing, getting ready, getting prepared, all anticipated and now and you're telling me that i can't F-ing go?
I'm was angry at something I can't express. No it's not the wake. I know full well the importance of it. And I didn't ask for permission to go anywhere. Cos i respect the significance of the wake.
It's just the immense pressure im facing all around nowadays.
Being angry at something that you can't quantify makes you think that you hate yourself. Makes you think that you're the cause of trouble.
I don't know, after all, it's a party. I've missed parties before.
But nothing felt as bad as this one.
It left me helpless and biting my teeth, literally. I can't get over it yet.
Coupled with the passing of my grandfather, whom i was a few hours away from seeing him before his last breath. I had no chance to see him past. On monday, he commented to my mom that he hadn't see me for a "Very long time". But i've visited him on sunday.
I feel horrible.
Cos i was going to visit him right after teachers' day.
He stopped breathing at 1am in his sleep.
Thank God for the very peaceful passing.
It's as if nothing had a conclusion. Nothing. I didn't get to see grandpa before he left. And WTF. IT's just a farewell party. and i'm so mad and emo over missing it, the self-imposed anger and harm to noone.
It's cause i didn't get to say farewell to the dance people too.
So knowing that I can't turn up, I turned up backstage to cheer them on and be there with them and for them, the last time before I go. Yes, it matters a hell lot to me.
Cos frankly this is going to be our last time together. And knowing how "last times" feel like many times before, the feeling doesn't fade. Yet.
In time it will.
My fellow IBexam compatriots. Let's do it again after prom.
Let nothing come between us. Please.
I will pray super hard for this one. Please don't dissappoint me. PLEASE.
"That which doesn't kill you, makes you stronger"
Friedrich Nietzsche
Labels: dance, friends n loved ones, love, out
never do an extended writing on the bus.
The past few days i have been rushing my chinese written task, trying to get it to a good, decent grade. and for this cause, i've been doing my work on the bus. yesterday, i wrote my rationale foe my written task in the duration of my bus ride, and today when i let my chinese teacher see, she was kinda mad at my standard of chinese. she pointed out just TWO examples of my incorrigible chinese and i really, honestly CANNOT BELIEVE i wrote that.
I just went to correct it further. and i CAN'T BELIEVE I WROTE THAT. every sentence i go "WHAT THE HELL AM I WRITING?!"
This is the original, try reading it, even if ure bad at chinese.
"
以下文章写的是个访问，关于肥胖的话题。访员是个<<早安，您好>>的主持人。受访者是一位健康专家。减肥话题主要是关于现代人怎么这个访问的话题是讨论不同的减肥方法，谈它们的好还，对身体的影响。
这个访问谈不同的减肥问题，主要的目的是告诉大众运动才是减肥最正确，最安全的方法。这个访谈绝食，整形，服用减肥药物的危险和短处。这个访问反映了现代人为了要拥有苗条身材，而且懒得运动的现象。在访问中，受访者有提出一些证据来解释这个现象。
"
Well it's nothing to be proud about.
Compare that to my near-completed rationale.
"
这是一章关于肥胖问题的访问稿。访员是<<早安，您好>>的主持人。受访者是一位在食物营养和生物化学方面的专家。这个访问讨论不同的减肥方法(节食，整形，服用药物，运动)，谈它们的好坏以及对身体的影响。
这个访问主要的目的是通知大众运动是最正确，最安全的减肥方法。受访者也解释绝食，整形，服用药物的危险和短处。这个访问反映了现代人想拥有苗条身材，可是懒得运动的现象，他们的懒惰是他们寻找别的减肥方法的缘故-专家解释这些方法的短处。在访问中，专家也例数据，利用了科学道理来加强说服力。
我在写这章访问稿所遇到的问题是寻找资料的难度。之后就是把资料用在访问稿上，有把整个访问稿的字术保持在1200字内。
"
you can see the hell of a difference.
Writing on the bus, especially when you are changing from bus to bus, kills your chain of thought. you end off somewhere and continue somewhere else, so does your thoughts, reasoning, logic, and most of all, writing. All these turn my chinese to an unreadable block of letters, a standard which even a primary 4 can easily surpass.
Labels: distress, out
BAN KAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!Labels: out
You self-centered bastard.
A one night stand I had last night. I hate to say it, but it led to all the fights. I don't think i know why i did it. Oh mirror mirror you look like crystaline, so perfect, yet so easily broken by the softest. I wanna see your face looking back at me. So clean, so strong, so smooth, so perfect. When they ask i will honestly reply, that i didn't know what i was doing.I had a hell of an exciting night with her. She's cute, special, the 'only one for me', irresistable and exotic. Pleasure and love flood my veins. We thought of something more.But I decide to leave.She may die of syphillis, a disease I carry, but that's her problem.She may get corroded in AIDS, a disease I carry, but that's her problem.I realize that it can be represented in economic terms. By losing a one night stand I will gain back something more. I left something in her, but she can clean it off herself.Then I feel a tear in my heart. An emotional attachment I can't quite describe.No, it's not the girl, is the something more I'll gain back.It's all about me.Labels: Literary, out
friends who love
they don't go on bullshitting with you about your superficial life when you are downright superficial.when they know what's right, they don't ignore the important stuff when you are straying.
They don't pretend to not know anything when you fall into a conflict with your friend, who is also their friend.
They don't say anything just to make you happy.When you're wrong, they correct you.When you are doing something despicable, they won't pretend to know nothing and stay silent about it.They're not there for fun.
They are there to make sure you walk a straight road with God.
They are
sincere, truthful and selfless.Labels: christian-bboy, out
sometimes, adults should just STOP thinking they are always the right ones, and listen to their younger counterparts and STOP spouting shit that giving a honest helpful comment is to be rebellious.
is it pride?
or is it refusal to admit, or do they always think their younger counterparts are ALWAYS the inexperienced, rebellious, complainers, or don't know anything about life?
Labels: out
